A Gift Horse

Look a gift horse in the mouth. If you look in the other end, you’re liable to have your teeth kicked in. Ryan Davison

Upon a Ship

Upon a ship bound for no port
I spied a waiter waiting widely
So I spoke to him in short
I ordered waffles of a sort,
And sat there gazing at the sea
Its breakers breaking snidely.

No waffles came that day I sailed
Though many pancakes dipped the bow.
Where was the waiter whom I hailed?
I feel that he has greatly failed
To render service due somehow
And all I am is hungry now.


Where is my wife?
She only went to get a haircut.
Then she’d come back to get me
From the library where she dropped me off
With my kids for something to do.

But it’s been well over an hour.
How much hair does it take
To complete a cutting?
The mystery is deep and
So must be my patience.

Have I been abandoned?
Doomed to browse these shelves?
My only friend the DDS?
But still responsible for my children?
Oh wait, there she is.